Róisín Lori
I usually go into work at 8 am on a Saturday morning. As I took my shower, I realized that my cramping (a lot like menstrual cramps) was intensifying, but I was still only uncomfortable, not in pain. I only work two blocks away, and since the end of my pregnancy was drawing closer and closer, my best friend arrived at my door to walk me into work.
Once I got into work, I notice a pattern to the tightening of my belly. They started coming between 6 and 8 minutes apart, and I just tried to work through them because I just knew that I was still pretty far away from meeting our little one. Work was going well for the morning, anyway.
I had to leave work at around noon on Saturday because I had to walk around the office, be moving, and go to the bathroom every ten to twenty minutes. My contractions, although not regular (still spanning from 6 to 20 minutes apart), were increasingly uncomfortable. My best friend walked me back home, and I tried to rest. I was really agitated, and my husband and I just chilled in the bedroom for a while before we decided to go to the movies. I mean, that's what they had told us in Childbirth Education Class… pass the time. So, we went to the movies (Stardust, which was actually really good if you like the fairytale motif), and sure enough, my contractions slowed down with the distraction. After dinner and more relaxing and walking, we called the birth center to give them a heads up. Nancy said to just try and get some sleep and maybe she'd be seeing us that evening, maybe not.
Well, the contractions petered out, and sleep was welcomed. I got about three hour blocks of sleep, and I tried really hard to just stay relaxed and get comfortable on the trash bags and towels that we'd set up on the mattress, 'just in case'. Amniotic fluid isn't the easiest thing to get out of a mattress, we'd heard.
Sunday morning brought more contractions and cramps and discomfort. We spent more of the day walking around Cherry Creek Mall as it was hot outside, and shopping for baby clothes seemed pretty appropriate.
Sunday night was not so happy. I didn't get any sleep, and I was exhausted. When I woke up with contractions again on Monday (Labor Day), I knew that this babe had to come out or I might not be able to handle the hard work of labor for lack of sleep. Over the previous two weeks, Trev and I had been trying all of the typical things like Evening Primrose Oil, walking (miles and miles), and sex. But on this Monday, I just knew that this baby was only going to come when it was ready. So, I was drinking water by the gallon as this was imperative to my endurance. Exhaustion is the number one reason that first-time moms get transferred to the hospital, and I really was determined to not fall into this statistic. By late afternoon, contractions were still at 8-10 minutes apart, and I thought, "I cannot do this for another day." That was when we called the birth center. Luckily, Nancy was at the center as there was another mama in labor. She told us to come on down, and we'd just see where we were at in the process. I ate two pieces of leftover cheese pizza, unaware that this would be my last full meal until the same time the next day.
When we arrived at the birth center, it was so nice and quiet. The lights were off, and it was just calm. I always liked places the best when they were quiet. Even the most crowded subway stations and the busiest squares were havens to me when they were dim and empty, and it was reassuring to walk into a place that reminded me of this when I was so uncomfortable and a little scared. Not to mention that we love the birth center. It's so unique and amazing, when you're used to getting the standard of American medical care, to go to a place where they don't have to check your chart to know your name and they know your family and they want to talk to you and help you understand what's happening. They don't endorse fear or numbers but they want you to understand the experience. It's truly a sacred place where one size does not fit all.
So, we chatted to Sandy, the nurse, for a little while, and then Nancy came in to check me. I had been four centimeters at my 38 week visit the previous Tuesday, and my membranes had already separated themselves (This is concerning where the water bag connects to the bottom part of the uterus and cervix. Sometimes, they will 'strip' your membranes by sweeping a finger between your cervix and the water bag to encourage labor). Now, when she checked me on this Monday afternoon, I was a good five centimeters and doing pretty good on effacement (meaning that my cervix was very thin in preparation for labor and delivery). Also, there was a small gush of fluid when she was done checking me. I was excited for a moment, thinking that it was my water breaking, but it turned out to just be excess fluid or the forewater and not the actual amniotic sac. While all of this progress was encouraging, Trev and I looked at her hopefully. Nancy could only say, "I don't know why you're not in labor yet." And we knew she was right in that the baby was going to decide all of this, not us. We just had to be patient. Well, not too patient. On the ride home, I started having contractions every five to six minutes.
By the time we got home, about twenty minutes or so, the contractions were regular and about five minutes apart, lasting a minute each. Well, I tried my darndest to lie down, but there was no way I could sit or lie down or be still through these contractions. Right, so, Trev suggested a walk. It was still light out, and we had made an evening constitutional a part of our routine. So we set out for our normal route around our neighborhood which usually came to about two miles. Yeah, I made it half a block.
When we got back, I was just about not able to talk through the contractions. The 15 minutes we were 'walking' had certainly been painful, and we completely freaked out this lady who lived behind us. I had a contraction at the end of her driveway. So I tried the birth ball, the couch and standing… none really worked. We tried watching 'Blades of Glory', and by about halfway through it, I couldn't handle talking at all through contractions any more.
We were using contractionmaster.com to time them, and they had made a rather quick jump from five minutes apart to three minutes apart and were now lasting longer than a minute. At this point, I decided that I really needed to chill on my own for a few minutes. We had been in touch with Nancy, and while Trev called her to let her know that we'd be on our way in the next ten minutes or so, I hopped in the shower. Sweet relief! The quiet lull of the water, the small space and privacy of the closed curtain, and the warmth on my back was exactly what I needed.
It was right about now that my back really started to twinge. I was sure that it was just a matter of finding the right position for me as I've had lower back problems since puberty. I wasn't too worried about a posterior baby (they are notoriously difficult and painful to deliver) as the little one had not been posterior at all in my pregnancy.
Well, as you can imagine, the two of us were a right pair getting everything going for the birth center. We had our bags packed and most of the stuff put together, but when it was really 'time', there were a thousand things that I needed. Trev packed up our toiletries, a couple of CDs, our birth poster, my Rescue Remedy, and the last minute addition of my micro-bead pillow.
We got into his car, and the ride over wasn't as bad as most of the women I'd talked to said it would be. They made riding in a car sound like the seventh level. Well, I rolled down the window, put on the oldies station, and closed my eyes. The contractions rolled over me, and I sang along as best I could to Otis Redding. It was one of the best and memorable car rides of my entire life. It reminded me of being on a road trip with a best friend and not really minding where we ended up.
We settled into the bigger room at the birth center, unpacked Trev's supplies (he's vegan and allergic to nearly everything… so food for him was a necessity) and my sports drinks. This was when we all decided that I would be the next great Gatorade commercial – Drink Gatorade when you're in labor! It doesn't make you puke like water does! I was thankful for the fact that I was able to keep liquids down and didn't need an IV. Actually, I found that throughout labor, I was thankful for very small things, and I tried to hold onto those during peak times.
Sandy hung up our birth poster, and I hung off of Trev as my contractions picked up a little bit. I was still baffled by the amazing back pain. About an hour after being there, they checked my cervix to find me to be seven centimeters dilated and on my way.
This, I think, was when I kind of checked out mentally. My back started to absolutely kill. We gave nearly every position the old college try. My mind was folding in on itself every single time I had to change position. I was bouncing on the birth ball, and then I got in the tub.
I had thought initially that the tub was going to be a great place for me as I've always found solace in water, but I felt so far away from everyone. My husband was on the other side of what appeared to be a wall to me, and I couldn't reach him. I couldn't comfortably touch him without dripping water everywhere or getting his clothes wet. I was naked, isolated, and wet. Not a great combination for the vulnerable pregnant lady. Out I came, and I decided to get into the shower for a few contractions. Out of the shower and on the toilet for one or two. Off the toilet and back to leaning over the edge of the bed. Off the edge and into bed while lying on my side. No matter, it was starting to get so intense that someone had to be pressing their entire body weight onto the small of my back for me not to scream in complete agony. I was trying with all of my head to keep my voice low and open. Deep noises is what kept me relaxed. Deep noises and a wide mouth. Lots of baying and mooing and baaing.
Through all of this, those of you that have not been through this may wonder what the atmosphere was like or what the people were doing. Well, the cast included my husband, Trev, our midwife, Nancy, and a student mid-wife, Paige. Trev was excellent at eye contact and keeping my head in the here and now. I was drifting a lot, focusing inward, and losing my sense of humor. Trev kept me there. Nancy was great at talking me out of the crest of the contraction and letting me squeeze her hand.
Transition is a tricky time. Generally, it's defined as when your cervix is becoming fully dilated, and the preggers lady completely loses it. This is what is typically shown in movies as her screaming her bloody head off for the drugs. I was in transition for probably about 30 minutes to an hour. I still had a little lip left in the front of my cervix which prevented them from telling me to push. So I threw up a little and the noises coming out of me sounded more like cow mating calls, but I am so proud of the fact that I never asked for drugs. In fact, in my head, drugs weren't the answer. I would have really liked if Andre the Giant had come in and sat on my back. That may have provided enough pressure.
Ok, round-up. It is three in the morning. I have been in labor for about three days. I have been in active labor for 10 hours. I have not slept a full night in about 4 days. I am running on two slices of cheese pizza, half a liter of Gatorade, and my husband's will. My back is in bits and pieces inside of my skin. Luckily, none of this seems to bother the baby in my belly. They checked the heart-tones every half hour, then every 15 minutes, and then every 5 minutes. No one else was in pain, so I made the student midwife get into the most awkward positions to get those heart-tones. Someone had to pay, if just a little bit.
Nancy checks me again, and her big smile told me that I was complete! Hallelujah!
Now, I had heard that the pushing phase was this big relief of pressure. Everyone had told me, 'Oh, pushing felt so good!' Bull.
"Are you feeling the urge to push yet, Lindsay?"
"No."
"Ok."
There was about ten minutes of that conversation happening over and over again.
So, they put me in the typical half sitting and directed pushing position, and we tried pushing for a while. No dice. It was horribly painful because I was still getting contractions about thirty seconds apart. I flipped over on my belly, and I tried pushing that way. This was the point which Trev, now, politely refers to as when we would have had Lindsay committed if she hadn't been in labor. I would have dug right through the bottom of the mattress if they had let me. Searing pain shot through my back; three people were telling me to push push push. I felt tortured.
In the back of my head, all I could think of was that couple that had been laboring earlier in the day and that they had had to transfer to the hospital. I refused to make Nancy transfer another family to the hospital. I refused.
And then, the exhaustion came.
I became more tired than I think I had ever been. So tired, that through these contractions and the pain, I just cried about how tired I was and that I couldn't do it any more. Trev kept looking straight into my eyes and saying, "You can do it, you are doing it, you will do it." I was crushing his hand, tearing at the sheets, and screaming. It wasn't happening. I needed time. There was a moment that I needed for me.
"I need to sleep."
"I wish you would."
And Nancy turned off the light as Trev and I crawled into the pillow-laden bed. I moaned through another jumble of back pain and contraction, and I slept for about three minutes. I never thought it would be possible to sleep for three minutes, but I slept. I slept deeply and soundly for three minutes. I woke up screaming through my next contraction, and I had to remind myself to breathe and make low sounds. Just as I remembered that I had to relax my bottom, something gushed.
"DOBO, SOMETHING BROKE!" and I hopped off the bed more quickly and limberly than I had moved throughout my entire pregnancy. He ran out to get the midwife. I assume at this point they inspect my waters that had just broken, but I just tuned them all out.
This was my time. This was what I was here to do. I was now here to get this baby out of me, and it had to happen.
I stood next to the bed, and my feet planted firmly on the floor. I leaned over the bed and tried to push. That wasn't working. There was nothing on the other side of me. There was no energy to push against. So, instinctively, I reached down and grabbed the bottom of the bed frame, the bed frame that of course was made of logs. I began to lift against my contraction. All my head could process at that moment was lift push lift push lift push. I found the pain. No, I found where the pain's energy was coming from, and I pushed it like a button. I lifted the bed off of the ground until I felt her at my skin.
"Look down, the mirror."
I looked down and saw the goriest picture of childbirth that I had ever seen. It was that way because it was me, and I was connected to the pain. After all of the childbirth videos I had seen, nothing had prepared me for the uncaring pshaw that I would give the image of our own birth. That two seconds was the only time I looked down, because it was distracting me from what I needed to do. That gooey hair on that baby's head was one step ahead of where I was, and I could do nothing but be in the moment.
I lifted, and I pushed, and I screamed, "It hurts!"
I pushed through the ring of fire that only lasted for a moment or two, and I felt her head coming back and forth, in and out of me.
I lifted that bed, and I pushed that baby out of me. After two hours of pushing, her head and body came out in a push and a half, not even giving them time to check for the cord around her neck.
Then…
I heard a baby cry. Before she was even out of me, I heard a baby cry, and I couldn't connect that all of that pain that I was feeling in my bottom and in my back was for that baby crying.
"What?"
"It's a girl, Cailin!"
"We're passing her up through your legs."
And there was this baby in my arms. And she was crying. And she looked at me and stopped crying. She just stared at me, not in bliss or in pain. She just stared in calm. I looked at the clock and declared her time of birth as 5:01 A.M.
"Dobo, look what we did."
And he looked at the two of us, naked and huddled there, and he smiled and huddled himself in as well.
They sat me on the birth stool, and I quickly and easily delivered the placenta. And I looked around me, and I said, "I made a mess."
I was shaking with joy, fatigue, and shock. That was not what I expected.
It was then explained to me that she had her fist up to her head which pushed on my tailbone throughout labor and added an extra inch or two to the circumference of her head as she was being pushed out.
She stayed with me, she nursed, she looked at the two of us, and we became a family.
Just to update a little quick thing here....
We welcomed
Róisín Lori into the world at 5:01 am on Tuesday, September 4th!
She weighed a great 7 pounds and 9 ounces and is 20 inches long.
She is gorgeous and amazing, and only took 12 hours of active labor! (Whew!)
Mommy and Roisin and Daddy are all doing great. We were all able to come home about 4 hours after the birth. We've been resting up and learning about each other.
Well, it seems that we've entered prodromal labor.
What this means is that I'm contracting regularly at 5 to 10 minute intervals all day (since Saturday morning) and that these contractions are painful for the last three days. However, they are not progressing or intensifying, and so, it is considered prodromal labor because they soften at night when I go to sleep and change frequency as I change my activity.
What this also means is that... we will let you know when the baby is born. This is a very frustrating and difficult time for me as it's uncomfortable and I'm as tired of being pregnant as you are of asking if I'm still pregnant. It is like being in early labor for days on end instead of for hours. Do not be offended if we don't answer our phones. I have to stay rested and relaxed, and sometimes, that really means turning off our phones. Emails are appreciated.
I am cranky and tired. And I will probably be that way until I go into active labor which could be in a few hours or a few days.
On the plus side, this means that my body is working very hard to prepare for this birth, and it is doing what it needs to do. It lets us know that my body is perfectly capable of giving birth naturally.
Wow, I'm really uncomfortable.
I don't consider myself really big, and I haven't even reached my due date yet. But after the baby dropped and since I've been dilating.... It's incredibly difficult to even shift my legs on the couch.
Well, either way, this baby will be out of me within 3 weeks.
Well, we had our 38 week appointment with Nancy today, and I'm up to 4 centimeters! Yeeeha! She expects me to deliver within the week!
To help things along, I'm on Evening Primrose Oil and two mile walks.
So here's the required belly picture:
As well, last weekend, we finished the baby's 'room'... it's not so much a room as we'll be co-sleeping for the first few months, but Trev and I had quite a fun time painting little animals and arranging the dresser and such.
So the first one is just the overall room.
Then we have the glider and bassinet.
And all of the little animals we painted and arranged and such.
It was a lot of fun, and the whole project gave us some nice bonding time.
And here's my belly from my POV:
And we can't forget the Da in all this:
This evening, I got bored and frustrated with my hair... .Trev's great idea.... Let's go to the salon!
I love it!
Oh, it was so encouraging!
First of all, I am Group B Strep negative which is a really good thing because it means that I will not have to have any antibiotics during labor.
I am 37 and a half weeks pregnant, and according to my uterus, the baby has dropped! This happens a few weeks before labor for first time moms. Basically, it means that the baby is lower in my belly, and its head is engaged in my pelvis.
Tracy went ahead and did a vaginal exam as I was desperately curious about my discomfort in the last week (waking up with cervical twinges, more contractions, and horrible pubic bone pain). The look on her face was pure amazement when she found that I am three centimeters dilated and 75% effaced (which means that my cervix is thinning in preparation for birth). Leanbh's head is almost at Station 0 which means that it is about even with the bones that curl around in my pelvis. Again, just one more sign that my body and Leanbh are working together to get this show on the road pretty soon.
She seemed so optimistic and said that she doesn't normally tell first time moms this, but she doesn't think that I'll make it to my due date. However, I was instructed not to go after her with a hammer the day after I'm due.
Tracy's guess is girl and right now, baby is between six and a half and seven pounds.
As well, my prurigo is clearing up a bit with the help of a steroid cream, ingested garlic (nature's antibiotic), and nightly soaks in ice water. Woo! At least it's less itchy even though it still looks kind of gross.
So that's the news today, oh boy.
I realize that it's been a few weeks, but we have been terribly busy.
Here's the 37 week belly.....
That's right. Oh me, oh my, how the belly has grown. That skirt used to be huge on me, and now, it leaves elastic marks around my belly. Oh well, a few more weeks, and I'll lose a lot of that weight in the delivery room!
Things I can't wait for:
-to sleep on my belly
-a cup of tea every morning
-lunchmeat (specifically, a Quizno's Classic Italian)
-a lack of heartburn
-a normal pubic bone/sciatic
-Cheetos
-my prurigo to resolve itself
In relation to that last one, many of you may be thinking, 'Hey, what's prurigo, and why does it need resolving?' Well, I will tell you, Prurigo Gestationis is this:
Another harmless but potentially annoying pregnancy rash is called prurigo of pregnancy, or prurigo gestationis, which appears as many tiny bumps that look like bug bites, usually on the hands, feet, arms and legs, although they can develop anywhere on the body. Prurigo of pregnancy can occur any time during your pregnancy, but it is more common during the second half and affects about 1 in 300 pregnant women. Although there is no cure for the condition, the itching can be relieved with topical cortisone or antihistamines and the rash usually resolves soon after delivery.
This, currently, is a diagnosis that is waiting to be confirmed by a midwife actually seeing me. But from my midwife's conversation, this is the most likely cause of my itchiness between my fingers and toes along with the bumps that look like chigger bites. Attractive AND enjoyable. Truly.
Besides this small annoyance, everything is going well. Leanbh is definitely getting bigger, and I was measuring a week ahead at my 36 week appointment. We are now going to our prenatal appointments once a week, and Leanbh is officially full term. While we could go through the end of September, I think we're all hoping to meet Leanbh before that!
My appetite is regaining stength, which is good as I'll be needing a lot of protein in the coming weeks to keep my blood volume up and to build my endurance for labor. Small meals and naps are my saving grace right now. Pretty much, when I'm not eating, I'm sleeping.
We had our baby shower two weeks ago. My mom threw a great barbeque bash at my brother's house. It was great to see so many people come out to help us celebrate Leanbh's pending arrival. The generosity was amazing as well as Leanbh now has many cute outfits, fantastic natural wood toys, cloth diapers, and many nursing supplies. We love seeing how supportive all of our friends and families are of our more natural family style. Leanbh is so lucky and loved already to be still receiving pressies from friends and family who couldn't be there! I have to say though... that cake was amazing. I really dug the cake. Ha ha.
Trev spent the next Sunday installing carseats! That was fun for him in nearly 100 degree heat, but they're both in, and we just have to find a carseat tech to check them over for us.
This weekend was a lot more chill. We've gotten to hang out with friends, go to the movies, and completely reorganize our storage pantry and rearrange the living room. It's safe to say that nesting has kicked in for the both of us.
So that's the story here. My feet are swollen, the Braxton Hicks are getting stronger, and I'll let Trev tell you about my 'can of frosting'.
This past weekend, I was in one of my oldest and dearest friend's wedding.
This proved to be a stressful and uncomfortable accomplishment at eight and a half months pregnant. But it was so much fun that I'm really glad I was able to be there and help and be a part of it.
All's going good... baby's in the "lets-see-how-big-I-can-grow-in-the-last-few-weeks" stage right now... poor auld Linds is getting a sore back and having trouble lying flat on her back too... but she's coping great (gonna be a great mum!)
Here's the portable baby maker herself.....
Hehehehe.... attack of the Leanbh...!!!!!!!
There's a new motor on the way for accommodating all the family stuff in the future.... the baby shower's getting closer.... Linds is finished in work soon (yay!) and there's a betting pool started already for guessing the due date.... ($5 in I'm told)
I'm sooo thrilled I could burst.... heheheheheee
Dobo...
(I'm about 50% - 50% boy/girl this week.... I'm just glad its going to be a baby.... and not a pony (ask Lindsay about the t-shirt she wants!!!!!))
That's right, we're registered.
You can shop in store at Babies R Us, and online with both. So if you want to buy something special for Leanbh, those are the places to do so!
